Navigating through another extended weekend due to the holiday. Not a minute passes that I am not thinking of our daughters. I am grateful for the friends I can call and cry with or rehash the knowns and unknowns. Some who know the journey as they have been united with their child(ren), while others continue to wait to be matched. The world of adoption is expanded when we dare to share our journeys through blogging. I have "met" and shared with some wonderful people. Taking the risk of being known results in being encouraged and an opportunity to encourage others. Blogging was one risk I carefully chose in 2010 and one that I would not trade. If I can encourage one person or one family to embark on the adoption journey with eyes wide open through this blog.... I will be delighted!
Adoption is NOT a journey that is predictable, carefully carved out, calm, or comforting. However, I STILL BELIEVE that it is a journey that is more than worth it. I have not even met our daughters in person and they have already taught me so much! Seeing their pictures and hearing their voices (and I must say they both have an innocents left in their voices) are gifts that I hold tightly during this waiting!
Closing out 2010 separated from our daughters is NOT what I had planned at the close of 2009. I held onto the notion that we would be together soon and a whole year later that word "soon" has a different meaning. As I reflect on 2010 and welcome 2011 I am determined to continue to choose JOY.
It amazes me that wen I choose to spend my time and energy on love and JOY, how great the reward. I feel so filled up.
Today our Puerto Rican rescue dog, or should I say our dog who rescued me/us in our waiting, clearly communicated to me that she needed a good run at the beach, so off we went...... a family of 3.
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| Daddy & Saige searching for goods. |
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| Saige checking in after a mad dash through rocks, sand and water. (perhaps past a dog or two) |
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| Saige found 2 live crabs today. She was so proud. |
What a B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L day! No wind, no breeze, just sun, warmth and SMILES! Finding JOY in the beauty of creation and having a beach just 2 blocks from our house, a dog that has been a great distraction, full of love, and who licks away my tears of sadness. Seriously she is a rescue dog and they have a reputation as being runners, insecure, the street dog reputation. Saige has been so fun to watch as she feels more secure in our home, as she learns to be a dog, to explore, to get the tail out from between her legs, to run like the speed of lightening (but not away from us, she is too attached for that!) She has grown to love the beach and today she dug and found 2 crabs. Ben and I were laughing and smiling as we talked about all the gains she has made and what an incredible addition she has been to our little family. Of course every conversation leads to Julissa & Johanna and how much fun it would have been for them today! Thankfully we could SMILE and add it to our list of "things we can't wait to do as a family" with no tears.
In this season of focusing on choosing/finding JOY I am thankful for the moments when I find a reprieve from the angst/pain of the waiting. Remembering to live in the moment and not let these times pass me by!
Ending 2010 with mixed emotions & honest reflections.... hopeful to encourage others, thankful for friends, loving what I have, cherishing what lies ahead, thrilled to be a mama, longing to be with our Peruvian Princesses, desiring justice, grateful for growth, yearning to learn more, pondering mercy, humbled by grace, exploring humility, and still CHOOSING JOY! WELCOME 2011!!!
