A Taste of Peru

Not a lot to share.  We are waiting for Feb 11th to hear the 10 day posting is complete and that the Director of the orphanage has requested that the notary request the civil registrar write a new birth certificate.  PRAYER REQUEST.   That the Civil Registrar see it as a priority to write it and not take the 5 days she has to complete it, make that 5 business days. 

What are we doing to cope?  I have a friend who checks in and asks me, how are you coping?  We are doing it day by day.  Our faith, many prayers, calling the girls, and cooking some peruvians foods.

Friday night we had a friend over and practiced what we learned in our Peruvian cooking class.  He was gracious and raved about it, we liked it, but it wasn't like Maria's.  When I was little I had a favorite song and it went like this.  Practice makes perfect, practice makes perfect, I guess if I practice the better I'll be.

Haddock seasoned with sea salt, garlic, and lighted rolled in corn meal.

Quinoa salad, red & green peppers with olive oil, add avocado & mint

Fish with sauteed onions and cilantro.

Of course we thought of J & J as we dined.  Oh sweet girls, mama y papa are doing all that we can to prepare for you.  We Miss YOU too!  Love Mama y Papa 

I miss you, I miss you!

Talking to the girls is beautiful, intense, sweet, emotional,  inspiring, energizing, unbelievable, sensory loaded, and Simply the BEST all at the same time!   I shared a little about how we do it with a translator, let me share what the conversation feels like. 
We decide to call our daughters so we start calling or texting our Spanish speaking friends to check on their availability.  They are quick to provide their availability and we determine if it works. These women have been HUGE BLESSINGS in our lives by giving us the gift of communication with our daughters!

Then we make the call, once, twice, three times or more.  The rings make our stomachs flip flop!
When we finally get an answer, sometimes days later and 3 ladies later, our translator introduces herself and us.  I understand parts, I hear my girls name and ours, Mama & Papa!  Then we hear the caretaker's enthusiasm, love that tone, intination and volume are part of communication, it makes you realize how much communication is more than words.  We really rely on these with no visual or tactile connections. 
Then we wait.  Which one will get on first?  Then we hear a raspy voice and hear which daughter.  This last conversation both girls spoke emphatically. Both said I love you Mama and Papa, unprompted, a few times, and in English!  These words are sweet.

It is hard to remember the whole conversation.  Ben reminded me today that when Julissa got on the phone she said, "I miss you, I miss you, when are you coming?" I instantly remembered and realized that my focus was on the question and my frail attempt at answering her.  I appreciate the words I miss you.  We feel the same way, we feel like we miss them, and to share the same sentiment thousands of miles apart.

We are coping, we feel the prayers, we have had some great support.  we also have come up with a Plan B, which would be a huge leap of FAITH, but at this point necessary for our daughters.  Again, we appreciate the love and support from our various communities and friends. 

Looking forward to sharing a picture of our Peruvian Princesses!

Lots of BIG Hugs & Little Kisses

Ahhhhh, deep breath!  Such a treasure in difficult times.  We talked to J & J again today.  First order of business, they wanted to know when we were coming?  Why all the papers? We don't understand all the papers.  I love you Mama!  I love you Papa! Where are you right now?  We again explained that we would come as soon as possible.  On their own they sent us lots of HUGS and little KISSES!

The conversations are tricky with the phone delay, the translator (THANK YOU ANGIE) a pause for their response and then back around again.  But so worth it.  The caretaker reported the girls are doing better, they have been very anxious with the wait, but with repeated reminders that we are coming, they have calmed some.  She reported that it is helpful for them to hear our voices and check in. We can call when we want.

We currently have bunk beds and we asked Julissa if they want bunks or side by side and they want side by side.  That is what they will have!

So good to hear them asking more questions, searching a little deeper for answers and telling us they just want to be with us.  Oh how I wish I could grant them this one wish!  I imagine that our first days together we will be catching up on these months and years of lost hugs.  If I could just hold them in my arms and snuggle them for hours and hours I would.  I might!  By the sounds of it they are ready.  Our last conversation they told us they were going to give us lots and lots of hugs when they saw us.  We can't wait.

Our hearts are so ready for the girls.  We know it will not be all roses and that some days will be really tough.  That does not scare us.  These two children are worth it! So are the 153 million other orphans!

So thankful for the gifts in the waiting, for them and for us. I am sure I will be dreaming of them tonight.  How can you erase the beauty of two raspy voices calling out Mama, Mama I LOVE YOU!

Peruvian Cooking Class

The ingredients to an AMAZING meal with Maria!

Maria washing the haddock before she taught us how to prepare it.  Ben ate and liked it.  He strongly dislikes seafood.

Maria showing us how to cut and prepare Yucca

Boiling the Yucca to eat this way or to lightly cook in olive oil.

   Ben and his mom tearing up the min and watching Maria

UQUITA FRITA CON CEBOLLITA, CILANTRO Y TOMATES. ! Delicioso !

We learned that the potato was poison before it was domesticated in Peru.  There was once 3000 kinds of potatoes and now there are only 300.

50% of the food we eat was domesticated in Peru

Maria does not use recipes, she looks in her fridge and uses what she has.  No trips to the store to buy ingredients.

We ate squash and liked it.  We had onion salad, quinoa (keenwah) salad, and learned about roasting  cumin before adding it to the dish.  and much more. 


We loved Maria.  I loved listening to her, watching her prepare and I actually think I could get into sharing the cooking experience with my family.  In Peru meal prep is a family affair. 

REALLY?

It is long, complicated and difficult to follow but I will summarize.  When we first learned that there was an issue with the birth certificate we were told by our agency that it would be fixed in about a week, then we were told that when the in country rep attempted to execute the plan, she learned it was more complex than she believed and she learned that the law, YES LAW, required a 10 day posting for the birth father with a number of other things that needed to be done to get the posting, including locations etc.  We then received an email which appeared to be going around this 10 day post.  We questioned over a week ago, no answer, other questions, no answers, and then at the close of business yesterday we received a call that the 10 day posting needed to happen. From there it gets really ridiculous.  Suddenly this is Peru's fault, we are a "middle of the road Peru family" other families have it much worse than us.  INTERESTING statement! 

So we know that we have a 10 day posting period, that is all we know.

My head and heart are not communicating at the moment.  It is hard  with this pattern/history of withholding information, broken promises, and other things that are concerning.  It is hard not to replay all the attempts to clarify or advocate for our daughters.  The HARDEST part is that our daughters are waiting for us and there is NOT.ONE.THING.I.CAN.DO for our daughters.  My HOPE is not in this agency or the country of Peru, I just don't understand.  We don't understand.  But, my head is trying to remind my heart of TRUTH... that God loves our daughters more than we ever could. 
UNCOMPREHENDABLE. I just witnessed this very truth from an incredible woman who endured 7 grueling court sessions in KZ, that included 2 trips and in the end will be 3 trips to bring home their 3 year old twins.  She never stopped believing that the outcome would be glorious.  Not ONCE!  I want faith like that, I want to have HOPE that is so strong, that during times like these I will not be moved. 

I am a work in progress.

Not Going to Lie

The days are looooooong when you are waiting.  Waiting for clarifications, answers, when you are waiting to HUG your daughters and never let go.  I have this constant ache in my heart, it doesn't ever subside. I wake several times a night thinking about our daughters, wondering how often they get a hug, are listened too, are told how special and amazing they are.  There is just really no way to shut off the thoughts, feelings and emotions of a waiting mama.  Julissa & Johanna were born in my heart over two hears ago.  The love, appreciation and desire to care, protect, teach, nurture and love these two girls has only multiplied over the time, the initial meeting, official matching and waiting.

I am not going to lie. I am emotionally exhausted.  I am spent. We are "in a relationship" with our agency and with all that has happened and continues to happen and not happen, the trust has been broken in this relationship.  We have had no contact, emails left unanswered, contradicting information provided and still no clarification. I am not going to lie, this is a HIGHLY vulnerable place to be.

You see there are some major misconceptions about adopting intercountry and I am not going to fuel those myths.  Yes, their has been a lot of issues with Russia and some other Eastern block countries that have made the news or perhaps you know first hand experiences from people you know, love and care about.  My heart goes out to them and I do not want to mitigate those circumstances.  What I want is to help people know the truth and know how to move forward with intercountry adoption.  It starts with knowing the right questions to ask and the follow up questions to the answers provided.  It's not the mission statement, the orientation, the countries they serve, or the passion they present.  It certainly is not the sales pitch.  When we started this process it involved extensive research from countries, to programs, to agencies to parental qualifications and ultimately the decision to bring our daughters home from Peru.  The problem is, we did not ask the best questions and what we have learned is that the presentation of the program involved a sales pitch.  How do I know? They presented that they offered something that was a limitation to choosing their agency as a specialty.  They present that they have access to children in specific orphanages while all agencies in country have access to ALL orphanages where a child/ren is declared abandoned.  Finally, we have lived it.  This is an agency issue, NOT a country issue.  There are some great agencies that have been kind enough to assist me.  I have called and asked questions and they have given me answers that were hard to hear.  Hard because they are invested in uniting families and they want people to have the most accurate information on which to base their decisions. INTEGRITY! These answers haven proven true and have been the nuggets of truth received from them is what I hold onto.

The positive of choosing this agency is that I have met some wonderful people. Some who were neck in neck with us in the process, some that were further along, and some that are just beginning.  We have created a little community where we can offer support, encouragement, and answers questions based on our experiences.  I love these women (there are some guys here too, they all seem to let us ladies do the sharing. :) ) I have had the joy of following one family to Peru and home.  I even lurked as her sister brought her son home from Ethiopia.  These relationships will be great for years to come as we bring our children home.

Adoption is NOT for the faint of heart. It is a journey of unknowns and growing.  I want to shout from the mountain top and encourage families to become FOREVER FAMILIES for one, two, three or more of the 153 million orphans.  I want to help people make informed decisions, share what we have learned and not avoid intercountry adoption because of the myths that some people believe.

We believe we WILL adopt again. We believe that we become forever families to one, two, three or more of the 153 million orphans waiting.  We will ask better questions, we will seek alternate options to the only ones we knew when we began.

More JOY!

Not long after we moved to Beverly I discovered this fabulous little Mexican Grill.  Ben and I don't eat out alot, but when we do, we really enjoying going to this one little place with great food and great people.  The first time we went we had this very warm waiter, I appreciate great service, and the food was FABULOUS. The combination made it  quick favorite.  We quickly began suggesting to others new to the area, locals, and out of town guest.  I love it when evrybody is so pleased with their meals, its a real crowd pleaser.  Everybody LOVES it, raves about it and forget us, want to come back to Beverly to go to the little Mexican restaurant.  But back to the waiter.  I always enjoyed seeing him, love having him as our waiter, and telling him about how we and others love the place. On one of the days we received bad news rgarding another delay, Ben was grasping for things to console me, and well you got it, he suggested the Mexcian Grill.  I was happy to go for guacamole and black bean soup!  I am convinced, along with everyone we bring there, that they have the best guacamole EVER!  We arrived and we typically go for dinner, so some of the staff was unfamiliar and I asked to sit where Jaime was serving.  He asked, you mean the peruvian guy?  I exclaimed, I knew I loved him! He let us know that Jiame wuld be in later for his shift but for know he would be our waiter, apologized up fornt that his guacamole was not as good as Jaime's and was very friendly. We were so excited.  It is important to us as we bring our daughters home to do all that we can to make sure we embrace and share in their culture as we become a family and they embrace our culture. |We have talked about the ways in which we will do this, one being meeting and sharing our lives with other Peruvian families. Well tonight we went to dinner to see Jaime and confirm that he was in fact from Peru and share with him our love for his homeland.  We learned he has a family, they live right down the road from us and his son attends the school we are considering for our daughters.  WE ARE SO EXCITED! 

Inside this little place we found good food, warm hearts, and a connection to the waiter who has served us graciously for the last 2 years. Jaime has been waiting on us our entire adoption journey and tonight we shared our love for a country 3700 miles away.  What a gift we have discovered.  We are looking forward to meeting his family and introducing our Peruvian Princesses.