Aunt Monday

Wow, it has been a long day today, and it is Monday. How fitting to dedicate this entry to my very special Hannah.

When Hannah was born, I worked from home. Tanya (her mom and my older sister) taught at a school less than ½ mile from my apartment. So when Tanya returned to school when Hannah was 3 months old I told Tanya I could keep her on Mondays. I would do paperwork, computer work, and phone calls. Well, Ms. Hannah was not big on Mondays. She cried and screamed and could only be soothed by holding her certain ways and bouncing. Monday after Monday after Monday we would hope for things to be different. After all Hannah loved me when she saw me on any other day of the week, needless to say the entire school year of Mondays were BAD! It became a joke after weeks with no relief and I became Aunt Monday.

Hannah Breanne Smith loved Aunt Monday on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays and that love has grown over these last 5 years.

We moved beyond Mondays, to sleepovers, telephone check ins, AND this past July we started horseback riding lessons together. She is a natural and I am so excited to watch her develop as a rider.

I miss you Hannah Breanne Smith. You are a very special little girl. No matter how long between times that I see you, know that I love you to the moon and back. I can’t wait to hug you tight and spend some QT with you. Uncle Ben loves you too!

Sisterhood in Massachusetts

Tomorrow will be 4 weeks that we have been living in Massachusetts. We are very happy, we love it here.

I miss my niece and nephews like crazy. I hear my little Hannah girls voice in my head sometimes saying, “I love you Aunt Tracy, where is Uncle Ben?” She stole a place in my heart back in the days of aunt Monday and not seeing her in a month has been tough! Stay tuned I will write about aunt Monday in a future blog.

What has been great is a little piece of sisterhood in Massachusetts. Tarsha lives about 60 miles west of me in Boylston, MA. So far we have had sleepovers followed by visitors and shopping trips. Last night Tarsh came over and just laid low with her favorite brother by law and big sister Tracy. We slept in, oh so nice, to awake and drink wild berry tea, hang out and wake up slowly, before announcing to Ben that we were off to do some shopping! The truth of the matter is that I really needed some warm clothes and a few other necessities!

We had fun and tired ourselves out. We came home and Tarsha took a nap while I modeled my new clothes for Ben, who loved them and didn’t even mind the price tags. We concluded our day with sushi and Riesling. Fun, fun fun!

Of course we miss the other three sisters and talk about the fun they would have if only they could find time in their busy schedules to make it to Beverly for 24 hours!

Thanks Tarsh for a lovely day. Love to all my sisters!

The MANNERS Queen

For those of you who know me, and for those of you who love me, know that I don't mess around and I don't go away when I have an expectation.

On any given day, my nephew Isaac can be making bad choices and the last person in the world he wants to see is Aunt Tracy. However, when he is making good choices he makes note that Aunt Tracy would be sooo proud.



In three weeks time I have earned a definite reputation with the girls I work with. I have sarted sitting with them while they eat their dinner and on Tuesday night, I was officially neamed the manners queen. I proudly accepted the compliment and joined them for dinner to offer support and reminders. Upon arriving at the twins swimming lessons the next day, I saw this little smiling face sticking out of the water, and I heard please and thank you Tracy.

As we were drying off and dressing in a very small space after lessons I overheard a conversation (whispering) between one of the twins and a friend warning her that Tracy really likes manners. The friend asked what is her name again? Her name is Tracy! (friend) Tracy is really nice, I like her her. Response, yes Tracy is very nice! So much for whispering.

I am enjoying my new role and the time I spend with the children.

Manners, Manners, Manners and I won't go away!

Ben's office/ guest room and our room

ok, so Ben took the pictures while I was at work. The pillows are killing me, but I am grateful to finally have pics, so I will live with the details not being what I would like.

Our living spaces

middle living room and Chance taking a nap.



TV room

kitchen and dining room

Good Times

So much to share….

Last weekend my mother and my sister Tarsha spent Saturday with Ben and I. Last night Ben’s mother, Robyn and Roger spent the night and today with us. We gave all of them the tour of our community and places that we will be spending a majority of our time. Well, Prides Crossing Candy, not a place we will be spending lots of time, but definitely a local hit and a must see, smell and sample place. After all I drive by it everyday on my way to work. It is an old train station turned candy shop! YUMMY!!!!!!

Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary (GCTS) after all it is what brought us to the North Shore. GCTS is a beautiful campus and a peaceful place. “Up on the hill” is where Ben will be spending the next three years.

For my mother and sister, we gave the tour and enjoyed a visit with Ben before I lovingly brought him home and invited him to join us in a couple of hours for dinner. We were off to the North Shore Mall. There is something about a shadow that appears to be unhappy (a posture that gives a non verbal message of; this is killing me with words that say I’m fine) that provides great clarity to me, that leaving my husband behind to shop is perfectly fine! He did happily join us for dinner at the Cheesecake Factory where we all enjoyed our meals. Mom and Tarsha thought they were real rule breakers eating brownie something something cheesecake before their dinner arrived.

This weekend we had Robyn and Roger and once again we did the tour, including Prides Crossing Candy. We did go shopping, however, they wanted to go to the Air Force Base and see all the specialty items and treasures found at Hanscom Air Force Base. I can relate. I thoroughly enjoy going to the base with Ben. Perhaps it is because it helps me to experience a small sliver of what life was like for him. After gathering lots of German treats and other misc items we returned home and enjoyed gourmet pizza before saying good bye.

For me it is about sharing all that living in Beverly is for us, all the sights and sounds that make living here an adventure everyday. It is very comforting for me to show our loved ones where we live and what we are doing. Perhaps it is the visual side of me that makes it feel more like people can really relate when you tell them about your day. Having the ability to visualize Ben on campus and in class or me driving to work and having a visual of the places we may frequent. It is an additionally pleasure for me to host, I enjoy hosting.

Stay tuned, I do have pictures of my apartment and I will upload them this week

Goodbye Casanova

It will be two weeks on Friday that my Casanova went off into the dark night, in the big city. AGGH.....I miss him. I can't believe I loved a cat, but I did. I lay in bed at night and wonder if it is better to hope that he is with another family or if he died on Rt. 128 South on his way back to Maine. (yes 128S, you have to go south to go north to Maine)

I had the pleasure of having him for 3 ½ years, when he was a kitten and lived with me in my apartment he was like my lap dog and went everyplace with me. He loved the car. He was fiesty for the first couple of years, but loving and full of delight this past year and a half. The night he left he had come to my room and done his little love head butting routine to get rubbed and loved. He was the most loving and social cat I ever knew. Being the firm believer that I am in grief recovery, I must begin the action steps...... There will be no replacing, there will be no time will make it easier, no crying alone, I know the inevitable and that is, it is time to say goodbye. Goodbye Casanova, you were a good cat and I will miss you!

TIME

Here we are in Beverly, MA two weeks yesterday. We are so excited to be here and excited in anticiaption of the adventures to come. We moved here in the rain, POURING rain that is. My last day at Spurwink was Friday the 26th of September. I had my exit interview with Roy at the Saco office. I drove home in the pouring rain, crying and reviewing my last 3+ years. I miss the wonderful people at Spurwink and just like any relationship, there is a piece of me there. So back to moving. I arrived home to find Ben, my wonderful red headed brother by law, and his friend Kapan packing the U-haul in the rain. We got pizza and my dad, uncle Mike, and Rob, another terrific brother by law, arrived to help with the packing. On Saturday we had a wedding in Belfast, so the move was on Sunday. We packed up the last of the U haul, my car, Ben's truck, and the back of Rob's car as the rain came down. Because it rained we were blessed with the help of John, my dad's very best friend. We picked John up in Westbrook and continued on our way. My back seat had a kitty cage for Casanova & Shady along with a bunch of odds and ends that didn't find a home over the course of packing. The blessings continued with more help, when we met up with Robyn and Roger. (Ben's mother and boyfriend) in NH. Then we were on our way for the last 30+ miles to what we now call home. That's not all, my wonderful friend Melody and sister Tarsha arrived to help with unpacking. They did a great job unpacking my kitchen and finding a home for spices, pots and pans and longaberger pottery. We were so blessed with love & support. Growing up in my home we did everything FAST. One of the beautiful and frustrating differences between Ben & I is our approch to life. I didn't think to tell Ben that when the uhaul backed in and the unpacking began, rain or no rain that there would be one pace and one pace only until it was EMPTY! It's been the way of life for me, but not for everyone. Combine my dad with his brother, my uncle Mike, with Rob who is just a nice guy and will go with the flow, I mean after all he is married to my sister Trina. He better go with the flow. John was a nice balance to the two brothers but there is no stopping them. While they scurried to unpack the uhaul, Robyn was in the kitchen "getting together" our lunch and Roger was helping her, while putting doors back on hingers that were taken off, helping to put bed frames together and give a helping hand on the uhaul. The uhual, the contents of our home, was unpacked in record time, just over an hour and then uncle Mike insisted that the uhaul be returned to Salem right away. So off Ben, Rob & uncle Mike went to Salem. I entered the kitchen and my mother in law, who just had her hip replaced, had prepared this UNBELIEVABLE spread. Now Ben told me his mom offered to make lunch and reassured me that she couldn't outdo herself because she had just had her hip replaced. Well, she more than out did herself! She made an AMAZING meat lasagna, shrimp fettuccini, salad, sauted sauage, bread, pumkim bread, peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies, and more! We had a great visit, filling our bellies and chatting about Beverly, teasing my dad about peeing in the bushes off the highway. He called me in NH and asked if we wanted to stop in Kennebunk to use the restrooms. I notified him we had passed the rest stop and in fact we were in NH, that the uhaul with uncle Mike and John was ahead of us now. The rain had stopped, everyone made it to 356 Cabot St. and the uhaul was unpacked, our bellies were stuffed and it was time for the people from Maine to return home. Time to say goodbye to my dad. :( The tears just flowed and I said goodbye to my dad who has been so good to Ben and I, who we love and appreciate. For the first time, I said goodbye to my dad and into the comfort of my husbands arms. What a difference saying goodbye makes when you have someone to share the tears with. We packed up the remaining food and said goodbye to Robyn and Roger, grateful for the kindness, generousity and hospitality. Tarsha and Melody worked on the kitchen, Ben unpacked his office and I made sense of what would go where. With the kichen unpacked Melody left and Tarsha joined me and offered perspective on all the boxes. We made a ton of progress. By Tuesday night our home was unpacked for the most part, we had been to the commissary to replenish the fridge and freezer and to IKEA to buy a couch and 2 chairs and had it all set up. You guessed it........ It was the fastest settling in for Ben of his multiple moves.