A Taste of Peru

Not a lot to share.  We are waiting for Feb 11th to hear the 10 day posting is complete and that the Director of the orphanage has requested that the notary request the civil registrar write a new birth certificate.  PRAYER REQUEST.   That the Civil Registrar see it as a priority to write it and not take the 5 days she has to complete it, make that 5 business days. 

What are we doing to cope?  I have a friend who checks in and asks me, how are you coping?  We are doing it day by day.  Our faith, many prayers, calling the girls, and cooking some peruvians foods.

Friday night we had a friend over and practiced what we learned in our Peruvian cooking class.  He was gracious and raved about it, we liked it, but it wasn't like Maria's.  When I was little I had a favorite song and it went like this.  Practice makes perfect, practice makes perfect, I guess if I practice the better I'll be.

Haddock seasoned with sea salt, garlic, and lighted rolled in corn meal.

Quinoa salad, red & green peppers with olive oil, add avocado & mint

Fish with sauteed onions and cilantro.

Of course we thought of J & J as we dined.  Oh sweet girls, mama y papa are doing all that we can to prepare for you.  We Miss YOU too!  Love Mama y Papa 

I miss you, I miss you!

Talking to the girls is beautiful, intense, sweet, emotional,  inspiring, energizing, unbelievable, sensory loaded, and Simply the BEST all at the same time!   I shared a little about how we do it with a translator, let me share what the conversation feels like. 
We decide to call our daughters so we start calling or texting our Spanish speaking friends to check on their availability.  They are quick to provide their availability and we determine if it works. These women have been HUGE BLESSINGS in our lives by giving us the gift of communication with our daughters!

Then we make the call, once, twice, three times or more.  The rings make our stomachs flip flop!
When we finally get an answer, sometimes days later and 3 ladies later, our translator introduces herself and us.  I understand parts, I hear my girls name and ours, Mama & Papa!  Then we hear the caretaker's enthusiasm, love that tone, intination and volume are part of communication, it makes you realize how much communication is more than words.  We really rely on these with no visual or tactile connections. 
Then we wait.  Which one will get on first?  Then we hear a raspy voice and hear which daughter.  This last conversation both girls spoke emphatically. Both said I love you Mama and Papa, unprompted, a few times, and in English!  These words are sweet.

It is hard to remember the whole conversation.  Ben reminded me today that when Julissa got on the phone she said, "I miss you, I miss you, when are you coming?" I instantly remembered and realized that my focus was on the question and my frail attempt at answering her.  I appreciate the words I miss you.  We feel the same way, we feel like we miss them, and to share the same sentiment thousands of miles apart.

We are coping, we feel the prayers, we have had some great support.  we also have come up with a Plan B, which would be a huge leap of FAITH, but at this point necessary for our daughters.  Again, we appreciate the love and support from our various communities and friends. 

Looking forward to sharing a picture of our Peruvian Princesses!

Lots of BIG Hugs & Little Kisses

Ahhhhh, deep breath!  Such a treasure in difficult times.  We talked to J & J again today.  First order of business, they wanted to know when we were coming?  Why all the papers? We don't understand all the papers.  I love you Mama!  I love you Papa! Where are you right now?  We again explained that we would come as soon as possible.  On their own they sent us lots of HUGS and little KISSES!

The conversations are tricky with the phone delay, the translator (THANK YOU ANGIE) a pause for their response and then back around again.  But so worth it.  The caretaker reported the girls are doing better, they have been very anxious with the wait, but with repeated reminders that we are coming, they have calmed some.  She reported that it is helpful for them to hear our voices and check in. We can call when we want.

We currently have bunk beds and we asked Julissa if they want bunks or side by side and they want side by side.  That is what they will have!

So good to hear them asking more questions, searching a little deeper for answers and telling us they just want to be with us.  Oh how I wish I could grant them this one wish!  I imagine that our first days together we will be catching up on these months and years of lost hugs.  If I could just hold them in my arms and snuggle them for hours and hours I would.  I might!  By the sounds of it they are ready.  Our last conversation they told us they were going to give us lots and lots of hugs when they saw us.  We can't wait.

Our hearts are so ready for the girls.  We know it will not be all roses and that some days will be really tough.  That does not scare us.  These two children are worth it! So are the 153 million other orphans!

So thankful for the gifts in the waiting, for them and for us. I am sure I will be dreaming of them tonight.  How can you erase the beauty of two raspy voices calling out Mama, Mama I LOVE YOU!

Peruvian Cooking Class

The ingredients to an AMAZING meal with Maria!

Maria washing the haddock before she taught us how to prepare it.  Ben ate and liked it.  He strongly dislikes seafood.

Maria showing us how to cut and prepare Yucca

Boiling the Yucca to eat this way or to lightly cook in olive oil.

   Ben and his mom tearing up the min and watching Maria

UQUITA FRITA CON CEBOLLITA, CILANTRO Y TOMATES. ! Delicioso !

We learned that the potato was poison before it was domesticated in Peru.  There was once 3000 kinds of potatoes and now there are only 300.

50% of the food we eat was domesticated in Peru

Maria does not use recipes, she looks in her fridge and uses what she has.  No trips to the store to buy ingredients.

We ate squash and liked it.  We had onion salad, quinoa (keenwah) salad, and learned about roasting  cumin before adding it to the dish.  and much more. 


We loved Maria.  I loved listening to her, watching her prepare and I actually think I could get into sharing the cooking experience with my family.  In Peru meal prep is a family affair. 

REALLY?

It is long, complicated and difficult to follow but I will summarize.  When we first learned that there was an issue with the birth certificate we were told by our agency that it would be fixed in about a week, then we were told that when the in country rep attempted to execute the plan, she learned it was more complex than she believed and she learned that the law, YES LAW, required a 10 day posting for the birth father with a number of other things that needed to be done to get the posting, including locations etc.  We then received an email which appeared to be going around this 10 day post.  We questioned over a week ago, no answer, other questions, no answers, and then at the close of business yesterday we received a call that the 10 day posting needed to happen. From there it gets really ridiculous.  Suddenly this is Peru's fault, we are a "middle of the road Peru family" other families have it much worse than us.  INTERESTING statement! 

So we know that we have a 10 day posting period, that is all we know.

My head and heart are not communicating at the moment.  It is hard  with this pattern/history of withholding information, broken promises, and other things that are concerning.  It is hard not to replay all the attempts to clarify or advocate for our daughters.  The HARDEST part is that our daughters are waiting for us and there is NOT.ONE.THING.I.CAN.DO for our daughters.  My HOPE is not in this agency or the country of Peru, I just don't understand.  We don't understand.  But, my head is trying to remind my heart of TRUTH... that God loves our daughters more than we ever could. 
UNCOMPREHENDABLE. I just witnessed this very truth from an incredible woman who endured 7 grueling court sessions in KZ, that included 2 trips and in the end will be 3 trips to bring home their 3 year old twins.  She never stopped believing that the outcome would be glorious.  Not ONCE!  I want faith like that, I want to have HOPE that is so strong, that during times like these I will not be moved. 

I am a work in progress.

Not Going to Lie

The days are looooooong when you are waiting.  Waiting for clarifications, answers, when you are waiting to HUG your daughters and never let go.  I have this constant ache in my heart, it doesn't ever subside. I wake several times a night thinking about our daughters, wondering how often they get a hug, are listened too, are told how special and amazing they are.  There is just really no way to shut off the thoughts, feelings and emotions of a waiting mama.  Julissa & Johanna were born in my heart over two hears ago.  The love, appreciation and desire to care, protect, teach, nurture and love these two girls has only multiplied over the time, the initial meeting, official matching and waiting.

I am not going to lie. I am emotionally exhausted.  I am spent. We are "in a relationship" with our agency and with all that has happened and continues to happen and not happen, the trust has been broken in this relationship.  We have had no contact, emails left unanswered, contradicting information provided and still no clarification. I am not going to lie, this is a HIGHLY vulnerable place to be.

You see there are some major misconceptions about adopting intercountry and I am not going to fuel those myths.  Yes, their has been a lot of issues with Russia and some other Eastern block countries that have made the news or perhaps you know first hand experiences from people you know, love and care about.  My heart goes out to them and I do not want to mitigate those circumstances.  What I want is to help people know the truth and know how to move forward with intercountry adoption.  It starts with knowing the right questions to ask and the follow up questions to the answers provided.  It's not the mission statement, the orientation, the countries they serve, or the passion they present.  It certainly is not the sales pitch.  When we started this process it involved extensive research from countries, to programs, to agencies to parental qualifications and ultimately the decision to bring our daughters home from Peru.  The problem is, we did not ask the best questions and what we have learned is that the presentation of the program involved a sales pitch.  How do I know? They presented that they offered something that was a limitation to choosing their agency as a specialty.  They present that they have access to children in specific orphanages while all agencies in country have access to ALL orphanages where a child/ren is declared abandoned.  Finally, we have lived it.  This is an agency issue, NOT a country issue.  There are some great agencies that have been kind enough to assist me.  I have called and asked questions and they have given me answers that were hard to hear.  Hard because they are invested in uniting families and they want people to have the most accurate information on which to base their decisions. INTEGRITY! These answers haven proven true and have been the nuggets of truth received from them is what I hold onto.

The positive of choosing this agency is that I have met some wonderful people. Some who were neck in neck with us in the process, some that were further along, and some that are just beginning.  We have created a little community where we can offer support, encouragement, and answers questions based on our experiences.  I love these women (there are some guys here too, they all seem to let us ladies do the sharing. :) ) I have had the joy of following one family to Peru and home.  I even lurked as her sister brought her son home from Ethiopia.  These relationships will be great for years to come as we bring our children home.

Adoption is NOT for the faint of heart. It is a journey of unknowns and growing.  I want to shout from the mountain top and encourage families to become FOREVER FAMILIES for one, two, three or more of the 153 million orphans.  I want to help people make informed decisions, share what we have learned and not avoid intercountry adoption because of the myths that some people believe.

We believe we WILL adopt again. We believe that we become forever families to one, two, three or more of the 153 million orphans waiting.  We will ask better questions, we will seek alternate options to the only ones we knew when we began.

More JOY!

Not long after we moved to Beverly I discovered this fabulous little Mexican Grill.  Ben and I don't eat out alot, but when we do, we really enjoying going to this one little place with great food and great people.  The first time we went we had this very warm waiter, I appreciate great service, and the food was FABULOUS. The combination made it  quick favorite.  We quickly began suggesting to others new to the area, locals, and out of town guest.  I love it when evrybody is so pleased with their meals, its a real crowd pleaser.  Everybody LOVES it, raves about it and forget us, want to come back to Beverly to go to the little Mexican restaurant.  But back to the waiter.  I always enjoyed seeing him, love having him as our waiter, and telling him about how we and others love the place. On one of the days we received bad news rgarding another delay, Ben was grasping for things to console me, and well you got it, he suggested the Mexcian Grill.  I was happy to go for guacamole and black bean soup!  I am convinced, along with everyone we bring there, that they have the best guacamole EVER!  We arrived and we typically go for dinner, so some of the staff was unfamiliar and I asked to sit where Jaime was serving.  He asked, you mean the peruvian guy?  I exclaimed, I knew I loved him! He let us know that Jiame wuld be in later for his shift but for know he would be our waiter, apologized up fornt that his guacamole was not as good as Jaime's and was very friendly. We were so excited.  It is important to us as we bring our daughters home to do all that we can to make sure we embrace and share in their culture as we become a family and they embrace our culture. |We have talked about the ways in which we will do this, one being meeting and sharing our lives with other Peruvian families. Well tonight we went to dinner to see Jaime and confirm that he was in fact from Peru and share with him our love for his homeland.  We learned he has a family, they live right down the road from us and his son attends the school we are considering for our daughters.  WE ARE SO EXCITED! 

Inside this little place we found good food, warm hearts, and a connection to the waiter who has served us graciously for the last 2 years. Jaime has been waiting on us our entire adoption journey and tonight we shared our love for a country 3700 miles away.  What a gift we have discovered.  We are looking forward to meeting his family and introducing our Peruvian Princesses.

Which Two?

I knew it when I saw this photo that our daughters were in here.  We just got updated photos (clearer) and their passport mugs which confirmed for me.  This is as much as I can show right now, until we are in country, but since this is on the web, I figured I would narrow it down.  This photo was taken around 2 years ago.  They have grown up, but still just as sweet.

The Diamond In The Rough

Today was the second date we were anticipating as the day we would FINALLY meet our daughters.  Not a whole lot to say. IT.DID.NOT.HAPPEN!

Sad. Numb. Angry. Tired, make that EXHAUSTED, all feelings and emotions I have experienced!  I am not giving up.  I am not apathetic toward my daughters, just parts of the process.  In fact our daughters have been an AMAZING encouragement to me in the process/waiting.

This week has been emotionally and spiritually challenging.  Another disappointment with the delay of being united with our daughters and the challenge of fully evaluating where I put my trust, where I put my hope, and how do I react when the outcome is not what I had desired/expected. 

I have been disappointed by many people on this journey.  I had expectations that others would join us on this journey and hang on for dear life.  I believed that paying lots of money for services would yield a positive outcome.  I dreamed of being with our daughters for Christmas. I hoped for things others were not capable of delivering. I believed. I hoped. I dreamed. I expected. What do I know about these things?  That when the outcome is not delivered, it equals GRIEF.  The natural and normal reaction to loss of ANY kind. No wonder I have experienced sadness, numbing, anger, fatigue and EXHAUSTION...... all words that grieving people experience.

This week has been rough, but I have sought to find the diamond in the rough.  That diamond is HOPE. I have been side tracked by placing my hope in humans, who ultimately fail us, including myself.  I have placed my hope in agencies to get the job done.  Not too much to ask, right? Wrong!  If this was true I would not be grieving a different, better, more.  Being in relationships, rather it is family, friends, churches or agencies equals expectations.  Any time there is a relationship there is an expectation and I lost sight, at times along the way, of the only One that will NOT fail me.  I have repeatedly been disappointed in this process by my own hopes, dreams and expectations. However, as I reflect on this journey, the one constant, the one thing that I have clung to, the only way I could experience peace and joy, has been my HOPE in my Creator.  The One that knit me in my mothers womb with purpose and plans. 

When the going got tough, I cried out and He carried me through the unknowns.  He faithfully met my/our every need . From connecting with others who were adopting, adopting from Peru, to strangers reaching out to us, all the way from Lima, Peru. to finding community (through an orphan) when we were barely hanging on.  We were matched with our daughters, the ultimate goal of this journey, and the journey has brought about great growth.  These needs were great and God knew what I/we needed and He provided in UNBELIEVABLE ways. But at times when the disappointments came, I held back, I took back the hope I had placed in Him, like He owed me one, like I was keeping score, like I was asking Him to prove himself once more, before I would grant Him the right to be the One to care for me.  What I see now is that as I held back and took back, I cheated myself.  I am done with the cheating, I am done with the disappointment, I am done with the take backs, I am done with the holding out on the One who has provided for our every need on this journey to our daughters.  2011 is the year.  I am saying, YES I BELIEVE God that You can do this.  That you can care for me, my HOPE is in YOU and YOU alone and I am not looking back!

Organization "HIJOS DEL SOL: Hogar Paul Harris, Chincha, Peru

Organization "HIJOS DEL SOL: Hogar Paul Harris, Chincha, Peru

This is the orphanage where our daughters have been living for nearly six years. The site is written in Dutch. You can go to Google and type in Hogar Paul Harris Chincha Peru in the search bar and it should come up first. Be sure to click to the right of the link translate and it should bring you to the site and translate it to English. No need to sign in you can skip it.

We NEED A Break

I know many people are waiting for an update on the news we were holding out for on Thursday..... but more bad news.

The issue is with one of our daughter's the birth certificates, one of the birth father's four names is wrong on the certificate and it has been discovered that the his birth certificate is needed in order to correct the error.  We were told today that it will take at least 3-4 weeks to correct.

The in country representative who works for our agency has provided details about why this process will take 3-4 weeks, however, the agency will not forward the email.  So here are at another weekend. We WAIT with NO answers.  SO NOT HAPPY!

We have once again petitioned the agency to find a way to let us travel to Peru to be with the girls while this is corrected.  The girls are anxious, asking why we are taking so long and about the process once we get there.  If they had not known about us for so long, this would be different, but they have lots of questions and few answers.

I have NOT stopped advocating, I am turning over every stone and pulling out ALL the stops.  The best interest of our girls is what needs to be considered and I KNOW first hand that families have spent time with their children before the official adoption began.

We sent them another care package this morning.  It is the only way for us to communicate to them that we are thinking of them and responding to their desires.  The in country rep met with them on Wednesday and  they were asking why we are taking so long to come?  They shared that Julissa really likes music and Johanna like Barbie dolls where she can change the clothes.  Hoping that receiving another package will encourage them twofold; that we are still thinking about them ALL THE TIME and that we care about what they need and want.

Please pray for a miracle in this process.  And as always, THANK YOU for joining us on our journey to our amazing daughters!

Catching My Breathe

Where to begin... last Thursday we were waiting for the call that the US Embassy in Peru had our final paperwork and to FINALLY get the o.k to book our tickets.  I had contacted three different travel agents to price check and arrange flights that would make most sense, like not flying out of Lima at 1:25 am or spending the night someplace state side as a layover.  Instead the phone call came that an error that had been noted for correction over a year ago, was not corrected and this paperwork was not reviewed by our agency until it was to be turned in.  MAJOR ERROR


Of course it was another holiday weekend so Friday was a wash.  Monday we heard from the agency that it was a holiday in Peru, the courts were closed and the individual needed to assist us is on vacation until Thursday!  So here we wait, there our daughters wait!  NOT ACCEPTABLE!!!

I have asked about what will happen on Thursday and Friday and the agency does not want to make any commitments, they say so I will not get my hopes up, too late for that!  My best guess is that if we get the correction on Thursday and turned into the Embassy on Friday (only a one hour window in the morning when it can be delivered) the Embassy will issue our Article 5.  The Article 5 is what we need to travel.  For the third week in a row the answers come on the last day of the week and so we wait through the weekend.  PLEASE pray that on Friday we get the o.k to book our tickets to travel in 7 days. 

I had an INTENSE dream last night, with vivid images of our daughters, we were all together, hugging, giggling, looking at each other, no words, just relishing in the reality that we could TOUCH one another... that we were finally a forever family!  Than I woke up and I was cuddled up with Saige (our dog) Ben was snoring and I was pretty certain I had just been kicked in the stomach!

Writing this post, which is always a time to pause and reflect, made me SMILE.  My dream screams MY love languages, quality time and physical touch.  Often times we love others with our love language, make sense I would dream this way especially not spending time with him.  I wonder what Julissa & Johanna's love languages are?  Quality time, physical touch, receiving gifts, acts of service or words of affirmation.....I cannot wait to discover.

Happy 2011... The YEAR Julissa & Johanna Come HOME!!!

Welcome 2011... we decided to start the new year, as a family of 3, with a return to the ocean.  It is peaceful, calm and relaxing.

Somebody can say I kayaked on NYD 2011!

"The Girl"

Running between her parents......

Saige exploring the rocks... progress

Close up of her running at the speed of lightening

Saige and the love of my life....Thankful for the 2 of you!

Julissa & Johanna mama thought of you today. Even the little things, like getting you warm socks to wear with puddle boots so you can wade in the ocean with "the girl."  Everything I do or think involves what you might think, feel, experience, or wonder!  Girls, mama LOVES you and just can't wait to be with you!